On the ego

Notes from coaching session

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

In a recent coaching session, I shared a story about my own ego - and how it had limited me. Maybe others find it useful.

I was working in the developer relation team for a year or so. Because public speaking is very personal, I could never reuse someone else's slide deck. I always had to spend a lot of time making my own deck and including my own stories. So, I spent a lot of time crafting my decks, and I took pride in it. One of my most important values is the appreciation for beauty and excellence. I am also fairly creative and a perfectionist, which meant it took me hours to craft these decks - and to script the personal stories that accompanied them.

My talks started to become fairly popular and because I also love sharing, I made all my content available to our internal teams. I wasn't expecting people to reuse it verbatim, changing the author name from mine to theirs, but it happened. A lot. And it made me furious initially. How dare they take my content I had taken hours to craft without even acknowledging me.
I was fairly new to AWS, and I felt that proving myself meant owning my content and making sure it stood out from the rest. Now it wasn't anymore. It was reused. Some did reach out, but even if I said yes, I felt the pain.

I talked to Ian, my boss at that time, and his answer was one of the most ego-crushing responses: "It is great!" he said. "They love your content. It helps you scale. Now more people can hear your message. That is the ultimate goal, Adrian, to reach more customers so they can learn and do the right thing."

Ian's words hit me hard. He was absolutely right - my ego had blinded me to the bigger picture. I was so focused on protecting my creation and getting credit that I lost sight of the entire purpose: helping more people learn and grow. It was a reality check. I felt embarrassed at my pettiness. But I also felt a strange sense of liberation beginning to take over. By reframing my perspective, a weight started to lift off my shoulders.

I embraced the opportunity. Instead of feeling betrayed, I reached out and offered my help, asked for feedback, and welcomed suggestions to improve the content.The feedback loop of positivity was amazing. The more I leaned into supporting others, the more they supported me back.

My material got far more exposure than I could have ever achieved alone. And the best part? More customers got helped as a result.

While catching your ego is never easy, the rewards make it worth the effort. It's like unlocking a superpower that allows you to grow, contribute more, and achieve greater impact.

So, whenever you feel that protective instinct rise up about your work or ideas, pause and ask yourself - is my ego getting in the way of the bigger goal?

- Adrian